Confessions of a Bitter Mary Sue

I eventually did get home, for the record. And weirdly the next day my I.D was altered to my new address. A bit late, no?

But that was neither here nor there anymore. You see, I was bored again. Oh sure, I could have gone to work, but no. I wanted to explore more. I wanted to.. I wanted to bother Clark. So maybe that was how I ended up at the Daily Planet. I went inside, flashed a bit of psychic paper one of the girls at work had given me for Christmas and was crammed into the elevator with the usual Daily Planet suckers.

When I was finally free of the confines of the squished workforce, I had to admit I was a bit in awe of the bullpen Clark got to work in. It was loud, busy, full of people, and did I mention loud? I walked slowly, taking it all in. It was pretty impressive. I felt a tiny twinge of jealousy for the people that got to work here. But it quickly faded when I reminded myself that I was far too lazy to ever be a reporter. Tracking down a lead? A source? Psh. No thanks. I could use that time to run people over in Saints Row 2.

I finally found Clark's desk, and don't ask how I knew, I just did. He wasn't there. My guess was that he was doing something important. Saving the world, doing a story, watching porn. Ok, so he probably wasn't watching porn. But that made for an amusing mental image. I spun around a few times in his chair, but soon that novelty wore off. With a sigh I moved from chair to desk and pulled out my Nintendo DS.

"Who are you?" The voice was stern and just a bit annoyed. I looked up from my game and found Lois Lane staring at me with a scowl. "What are you doing at Clark's desk?"

"I'm the lap dance Clark won online." I said with a faux smile. "It's amazing how some of those spam emails are actually legit. So is he here? Because I've had a long hard day and my bendyness is starting to wear thin. He's not going to notice if I'm not really into it is he? I mean, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with him, but my other appointments were such a bitch today. I didn't get nearly enough tips for the ass grabs..."

Lois stared at me in confusion, or maybe it was horror. I'm not entirely sure. So I just sat there and smiled innocently. Maybe this was a good day!

Lacey was not centered. She was not in her happy place.
Oh no, she was just in a wooded area surrounding a group of cabins that had long since fallen past the state of disrepair. When she had first spotted the cabins her thoughts had immediately turned to Friday the 13th, but thankfully this seemed like less of a summer camp and merely more of a rundown forest retreat. Lacey was hoping that she wasn't a Mary-Sue in a Friday the 13th movie. She was pretty sure that if she was, she'd be a goner. Not because she couldn't do anything, but because it was always the sweet innocent virgin type girl who survived.

Lacey Voorhees was not sweet. And she was certainly not innocent. In other words, she was fucked and not in a hot and kinky kind of way.

She was currently on top of a roof of a cabin, trying to get a good look around. With only the moon as her light source it was a challenge to say the least. She was hating this. She'd already come across several bodies, victims of whatever nutjob was slaughtering people here. Most were hacked up but she had found one death by bludgeoning. It ad not been a pleasant sight. If she weren't her, she'd probably have lost her lunch at some point. Thankfully she was able to control herself.

Lacey stilled instantly. Had she heard something? She didn't see anything, but that meant nothing. The woman barely breathed as she tried to listen to her surroundings. She heard a slight creak for her efforts. It was somewhere in the cabin below. It had-

Creak.

No, it was- Lacey turned her head and found herself staring at a pair worn out work boots. She swallowed and immediately rolled to the side just as an ax slammed into the spot she'd been laying. Unfortunately, she hadn't timed her roll quite right and she ended up falling off the roof and onto the damp grass below. She groaned but silently thanked god (or whoever was watching) for not being on top of a really tall building. Lacey scrambled to her feet, wincing in pain. She was bruised but not broken and so she started to run just as she heard the thud of the resident psycho's feet hitting the ground.

She didn't bother heading for any of the other cabins, knowing she could be cornered if she tried to hide again. She needed open ground. She needed a weapon. She needed-

-To scream, because an arm suddenly wrapped itself around her. Lacey struggled, only to be thrown aside like a rag doll over a rocky hill. She couldn't keep from crying out as she tumbled down the hillside.

The last thing she felt was a sharp pain as she hit bottom. And then...

Nothing.