Confessions of a Bitter Mary Sue

So.. right. I had my moment of wtfery. Nearly got killed. Was rescued by True Blue. Went to a hospital. Got patched up and put on pain meds.. and then while influenced by happy pills I kind of let loose with the Lacey Crazy. (Yes I have my own brand.) But.. um.. he seemed to like it. But um.. yeah.. I'll get into more about that another time.. but I will say this much... I kind of wish I had more happy pills. I mean, when else will I have the guts to pin him in a hospital bed?

Let's talk about the aftermath. Well, I got home.. My mother was waiting for me. Now see, this isn't unusual or a bad thing. However, this now meant I had to explain my condition. So what did I do? I lied my ass off. I said I fell off the roof. (That was true! It just wasn't my roof.) There were questions about who took me to the doctor.. then questions about who said person was. Suffice to say, now my mother thinks I have a secret boyfriend.

Meanwhile, I got a text from Silence. All it said was, "Oops. My bad." So I think the whole trauma thing was her fault. That or it has something to do with work. I.. I don't know.

But here's the kicker of it all. I flipped through channels on my tv. I ended up on one of the news networks. Not impressive or anything.. until a story came on. A story about Lex Luthor. As if her were real. Which he isn't. So then I thought, it has to be big viral campaign or something. Right? Wrong. How do I know this?

Because the next morning I had a copy of the Daily Planet in my newspaper box. There was a Metropolis listed in my encyclopedias. There was mentions of Superman saving.. well, I don't know what. All I know is it was Superman. Hello? It was live on my tv and it wasn't a freaking movie.

Did I mention the fact that MY FREAKING HOUSE IS NOW IN METROPOLIS?

What is my life?

Psycho killer on the loose.
Not sure who/what.
Lots of dead people.
Still surviving.
Wish I had some gummi bears.
No idea where I'm at yet.
Did I mention the dead people?

When you wake up and don't know where you are, it's usually a bad sign.
When you're me, it tends to be not exactly normal, but not overly unusual.
Waking up in the middle of a dark wooded area and alone isn't a first for me either.
Finding a mutilated body not far from me however is.
And hey, funny, how I can use my phone to update this, but not be able to call out. Stupid Mary-Sue bullshit. Or maybe it's Nexus bullshit. Who knows? Who cares?
Crap. I think I heard something.